I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
