i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Mom said you looked used
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
