no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize