Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
