I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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