new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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