I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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