Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
