My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
