How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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