Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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