What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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