Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
