You really coming over, don't trick.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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