OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
