Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have fence marks all over my body
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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