I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize