we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
