chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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