honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish you could order shots online.
only you would photoshop your dick
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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