I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
