I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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