That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
