I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
