doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
