i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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