Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
