I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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