I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
