a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize