and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He had one of those small greek statue penises
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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