1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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