It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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