yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
