i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
