you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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