oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
