i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
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Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!