Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
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I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.