i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner