Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao