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• (586): View more from Michigan

  The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket

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• (714): View more from California

  Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Maybe

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• (206): View more from Washington

  There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  First world problems.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones

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