Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.