i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize