community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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