Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
