She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
