Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
