Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize