i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
