im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
