Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
