my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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