Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
