I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So many bounce houses so little time
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.