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• (970): View more from Colorado

  i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show

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• (916): View more from California

  My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  handjob tips. give me some.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

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• (845): View more from New York

  I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (210): View more from Texas

  This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on

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• (347): View more from New York

  THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated

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• (518): View more from New York

  Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub

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• (510): View more from California

  I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.

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