Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

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  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
  Replies (33) Good night (4369) Bad night (1736)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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  (248): Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching." http://tfl.nu/eoit
  Replies (59) Good night (996) Bad night (3220)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

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  (703): I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college. http://tfl.nu/rorl
  Replies (29) Good night (3809) Bad night (1306)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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  (571): On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like http://tfl.nu/th56
  Replies (10) Good night (924) Bad night (4602)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.

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  (206): Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive. http://tfl.nu/785o
  Replies (8) Good night (4565) Bad night (942)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it

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  (573): Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it http://tfl.nu/okq1
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (2983)
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  (707): View more from California

  please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up

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  (707): please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up http://tfl.nu/kqwh
  Replies (9) Good night (1945) Bad night (1690)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.

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  (479): In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony. http://tfl.nu/h4yi
  Replies (11) Good night (722) Bad night (2515)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.

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  (317): I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock. http://tfl.nu/fdm1
  Replies (9) Good night (3138) Bad night (856)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.

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  (845): Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight. http://tfl.nu/mc2w
  Replies (2) Good night (2030) Bad night (786)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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  (484): pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you. http://tfl.nu/yyvw
  Replies (2) Good night (1620) Bad night (596)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere

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  (910): She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere http://tfl.nu/frtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1578) Bad night (462)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.

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  (203): I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/lj0r
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (316)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  (434): do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night? (540): yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you. http://tfl.nu/hqli
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (421)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit

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  (337): My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit http://tfl.nu/nmyv
  Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (290)

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