Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1356) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  high people should be assigned attendants

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  (757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j
  Replies (14) Good night (4165) Bad night (732)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you

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  (251): you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you http://tfl.nu/7a0u
  Replies (58) Good night (12309) Bad night (1188)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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  (856): "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/lfhc
  Replies (13) Good night (3435) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.

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  (418): I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach. http://tfl.nu/7gys
  Replies (15) Good night (6877) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat

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  (630): I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat http://tfl.nu/13uk
  Replies (29) Good night (1238) Bad night (4212)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club

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  (717): he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club http://tfl.nu/6yea
  Replies (8) Good night (5374) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bro? You just made it a target.

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  (407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2
  Replies (8) Good night (2442) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat

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  (310): This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat http://tfl.nu/hcj2
  Replies (1) Good night (863) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.

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  (704): Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water. http://tfl.nu/djc8
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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  (650): Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days. http://tfl.nu/kjo1
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you

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  (517): To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you http://tfl.nu/rkbn
  Replies (11) Good night (2158) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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  (407): You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways" http://tfl.nu/gs8x
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice

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  (925): well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice http://tfl.nu/8cax
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.

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  (813): I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom. http://tfl.nu/xrv4
  Replies (6) Good night (265) Bad night (710)

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