I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead