Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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