Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize