Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
