Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
