He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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