Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
