Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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