Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
