Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
