i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
